Now a lot of guys are very busy when their kids get born in the world. If you are like the typical father, you are probably worried about the hospital bills, you’re worried about what happened before, during and after the pregnancy. Welcome to fatherhood.
Now here’s the bad news. Worrying can only take you so far. Believe me. When you worry, you’re kicking around all sorts of mental furniture. You are jousting with emotional windmills and it’s all happening in your mind and guess what? None of that matters because you need to take action. Worrying is a worthless substitute for action. I hope that much is clear.
If you want a great career, you need to work. You need to stop worrying. If you need better grades in school, you need to stop worrying and start studying. You need to start practicing how to take the exam. That’s how it works because the antidote to worry is action and if your wife is about to give birth, you need to plan ahead and do it.
Unfortunately, a lot of men are just really babies. They think that the world is about delivering pleasure to them and it’s all about “I, me, mine” It is no surprise that most boys hate their fathers. It’s easy to see why because they look at this man and he’s actually acting like a boy. Everything has to be about him, everything has to involve his pleasure or his enjoyment. Forget everybody else.
If a little boy sees that in his father, what kind of a man do you think he will turn out to be? Unfortunately, this is the case and this generational curse repeats itself over and over again. If you want to break this pattern, you need to roll up your sleeves, step up and be a man. You need to man up. How do you do this? By loving your wife.
Now this is not something that just involves words coming out of your mouth. Anybody can make those sounds. In fact, there are a lot of guys out there who do such a good job verbalizing these sounds and producing these emotions that they go from woman to woman having kids along the way. That’s not the kind of man you want to be. Instead, you want to be a real man. You want to be a person of respect.
Let me tell you, respect is earned. It is not some sort of door prize. You don’t show up and people call you dad. It doesn’t work that way. You have to first be a dad for you to be respected like one. How do you make this happen? Love your family.
Love is not a word. Instead, it’s a commitment. Even if it hurts, even if you lose stuff, even if it’s inconvenient, even if it’s painful, you still have to do it moment by moment, day after day, week after week, month after month. That’s the kind of truth I learned from my dad and guess what? My dad used to hit me. He used to discipline me and it’s not because he wanted to hurt me. It’s not because he just wanted to take out his frustrations in life and broken ambitions and dreams by beating me up. The pain was targeted because it is paired with a message.
The trade off was a little bit of pain now so I know the right path ahead of me or a lot of pain down the road because I wasted my life. My dad always gave me that choice. He always made that clear and when you love your wife, there’s going to be a lot of pain on your end because you’d rather be out there playing golf, you’d rather be out there hanging out with the boys, drinking a lot of beer.
But when you spend time with your wife and most importantly, do things like post natal massage, you communicate in so many ways. She is worthy. She is important enough. She is valuable enough. In other words, you’re building your relationship on a solid foundation of mutual respect that produces love, peace of mind and yes, happy children down the road. This is the foundation for a great society. This was true in the days of Confucius, this was true in the days of Jesus Christ, this was true in the days of Muhammad and it’s true today.
Be one of those quality men. Unfortunately, nobody can make that choice for you. You have to choose it yourself.